


Six Feet Under the Stars

by GiraffesAndDietPepsi



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: (mentioned) - Freeform, Bisexual Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen), Bisexual Evan Hansen, Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nonbinary Dr. Sherman (Dear Evan Hansen), Not Canon Compliant, Two Person Love Triangle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:48:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25657693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GiraffesAndDietPepsi/pseuds/GiraffesAndDietPepsi
Summary: The same day Evan realizes he's in love with his online best friend, MurphysLaw, he befriends Connor Murphy.It's not that coincidental they share a name.
Relationships: Evan Hansen/Connor Murphy
Comments: 24
Kudos: 145





	Six Feet Under the Stars

Evan can admit the whole concept of having an online friend is weird. 

Weird isn’t the right word. At least, it’s not weird in a bad way. It’s new to him. In reality, the whole concept of having any friends is new to him.

He’s not even sure how exactly he ended up friends with MurphysLaw. Evan had joined an online support group for teenagers with mental illnesses a couple months ago. Dr. Sherman had said being able to talk to others about his anxiety would help. It had felt so cliche when they had suggested it that Evan had wanted to fight the suggestion. He didn’t of course. That would cause more problems than it would have fixed, so he had joined the You Are Not Alone website. 

He had introduced himself with his username SpeaksForTrees, and he had stayed fairly silent on the group chat feature for about a week. Then someone had asked how to grow their own coffee beans. The question had been asked out of nowhere, and it sat unanswered for a fair few hours before he decided to DM the asker, MurphysLaw, and tell him what he knows about growing coffea. From there, the two had hit it off. 

The two had started talking every day about nearly everything. MurphysLaw had a passion for literature, though the English teachers at his school are, in Murphy’s own words, “fucking shit”. He has learned a lot about Murphy’s family—annoying as shit. He’s connected with Murphy over their mental health issues, as well as their sexualities—they’re both bisexual. Evan can say he understands Murphy on a level he’s never understood anyone. Evan could say he’s never really understood anyone, himself included, but he connects with Murphy in a way he never thought was possible. Murphy knows everything about him, including how he actually broke his arm. He’s his best friend. He’s totally in love with Murphy.

_ Wait _ . What? 

Evan bolts up in his bed. He’d been attempting to get the last twenty minutes of sleep before he had to get ready for school, but apparently, his brain has other ideas. Like informing him of his love—not even a small manageable crush—for his best friend, who he doesn't know in real life. Great. He doesn’t have the emotional intelligence to deal with this right now.

He gets out of bed and ready for the day, and he starts a letter to himself.

* * *

It’s funny that the boy he loves and the person that pushed him down in the hallway that morning share a name. Well, technically Murphy is a pseudonym, but the sentiment is the same.

He hadn’t even been laughing at Connor. It was a nervous tic, and Jared being mean to Connor had made him nervous. Today had not been going well. He focuses back on the computer screen in front of him.

_ Dear Evan Hansen, _

Ugh.

_ Turns out this wasn’t an amazing day after all. This isn’t going to be an amazing week or an amazing year, because why would it be? _

_ I know, because there’s Murphy, and all my hope is pinned on Murphy, who I have never even met. Maybe if I could just meet him. Maybe nothing would be different at all. _

No. He can’t write that. Dr. Sherman might read it and think having him join the You Are Not Alone website was a bad idea. Pinning your hope on someone you’ve never actually met sounds like something they wouldn’t approve of. He deletes the last paragraph.

_ I wish everything was different. I wish I was part of something. I wish that anything I said mattered to anyone. I mean face it, would anyone notice if I just disappeared tomorrow? _

_ Sincerely,  _

_ Your best and most dearest friend,  _

_ Me _

He gathers his stuff up to leave the computer lab before grabbing the letter off of the printer.

“So, what happened to your arm?”

Evan’s head snaps up to see Connor Murphy. He registers the question. “Oh, I fell out of a tree, actually.”

“You fell out of a tree,” He nods, “Well that is just the saddest fucking thing I’ve ever heard, oh my god.” He’s laughing at Evan. 

“I know,” Evan knows he‘s pathetic, but is it really that funny?

Connor points at his cast. “No one’s signed your cast.”

“No, I know.”

“I’ll sign it.”

What? “You don’t have to.” Evan does not know why he’s discouraging this.

“Do you have a Sharpie?”

Evan hands him the Sharpie his mom had given him that morning, and Connor proceeds to take up the entirety of his cast with his name. “Oh great, thanks!”

“Yeah, well now we can both pretend that we have friends.” Not even real friends. Only one person wants to be his friend, and that’s probably because he hasn’t actually met Evan.

Evan nods and goes to grab the paper off the printer when Connor speaks up again, “Look, is this yours? I found it on the printer, and its, um, ‘Dear Evan Hansen’, that’s your name.”

“Oh, yeah,” He holds out his hand to get the paper from Connor, “It’s this paper that I have to write; it’s actually, it’s for an assignment.”

Perfect. Connor is now reading his letter. “Would anyone notice if I disappeared tomorrow? What the fuck, Hansen?”

How does he explain this? That’s obviously not for an assignment for school. What can he even really tell him? Nothing that won’t automatically have Connor label him as the freak he is. To be fair, Connor had called him a freak this morning. “I, um, it’s an assignment for my therapist. It’s supposed to be a pep talk for the day. Why it’s gonna be a good day.”

Connor is just staring at him with a sad look in his eyes. Not only is he a freak in Connor’s eyes he’s now pathetic as well. 

“This does not seem like a pep talk. This is some depressing shit, and I would know.”

Evan nods, “I’m not very good at them. They usually start off better, but I didn’t finish it this morning, and my day hasn’t been very good at all. So, that’s what went wrong.”

Connor looks down for a moment. Evan thinks he’s trying to decide what to say next, but he’s never been great at reading people. “You know,” Connor starts after a minute of awkward silence, “I think we should try to actually be friends. It would seem you need a friend.” That seems a little rude. Why point out what he already knows? “I desperately need one, too.”

Evan’s eyes are wide as he nods.

That night when he gets home, Evan DMs Murphy.

_ SpeaksForTrees: I think I made a friend today!  _

_ MurphysLaw: That’s awesome! Proud of you! I know people are hard.  _

A few minutes pass before MurphysLaw replies again.

_ MurphysLaw: I think I did too _

* * *

Having a friend in person took some getting used to, but Connor was absolutely fantastic. The first time Evan had a panic attack in front of him, he had helped him get through it. Evan hadn’t been scared when Connor had an episode for the first time a week into their new friendship because he could recognize the same signs of freaking out that he had, they just presented themselves in different ways.

After being friends with Connor for two months, Evan could say, with absolute certainty, the only person that knows him better is MurphysLaw. 

Figuring out how he feels about Murphy had made him worry he would act differently, but he has kept his cool thus far. Having Connor around has helped. He doesn’t spend all of his time thinking about Murphy or how amazing he is. He spends it with Connor. Most of his previously empty schedule is now filled with plans with Connor. He’s glad he met Connor because Murphy and he haven’t chatted as much since Murphy had met the so-called “new friend” on the first day of school. The way Murphy gushes about the boy he called H, makes his stomach hurt.

He knows he has no right to be jealous when he does the same thing with Connor. He adores Connor. He knows the feelings he holds for the boy aren’t platonic, but he is holding on tight to his feelings for Murphy for some unknown reason.

If he isn’t careful, he is going to be completely head over heels in love with two people very soon. Thinking this, he makes a decision. He makes an incredibly impulsive decision.

_ SpeaksForTrees: I know we’ve only known each other for five months, but I want to meet you. If you’re okay with that. _

Murphy’s reply was incredibly quick.

_ MurphysLaw: I was literally just working up the courage to say the same to you _

_ SpeaksForTrees: Would you be able to find time to do it this weekend? _

He’s impatient. He needs to meet Murphy. He needs to do something about his feelings before he’s totally in love with two people.

_ MurphysLaw: If you live at most a state over from New York, then yes. I doubt I could do anything else. _

_ SpeaksForTrees: I live in New York. Do you want to meet in Seneca Falls tomorrow at noon? _

_ MurphysLaw: Yes _

Evan chose a meeting point an hour from Rochester so MurphysLaw wouldn’t be completely sure where he’s from. Because knowing Evan, Murphy will immediately change his mind the moment he sees him, and he’d rather Murphy not know what town he’s actually from. 

They iron out the details of their plans over the next couple minutes, then Evan gets the most shocking message of his life.

_ MurphysLaw: Okay, so I need to tell you before we meet tomorrow. I am totally and completely in love with you. _

Evan’s eyes bug out of his head as he drops his phone onto his lap.

Murphy feels the same way.

_ MurphysLaw: I’m sorry if that makes this weird for you, but I needed you to know. I understand if you don’t want to meet now. _

Evan fumbles with his phone to type an answer quickly.

_ SpeaksForTrees: It doesn’t make it weird! _

_ SpeaksForTrees: I love you, too _

_ SpeaksForTrees: Like, romantically love you _

_ MurphysLaw: Oh _

_ SpeaksForTrees: Wait! What about H? _

_ MurphysLaw: What about him? _

_ SpeaksForTrees: I had figured you had fallen completely in love with him _

_ MurphysLaw: I kind of do like him, but the thing is, I realized a couple months ago that I’m like, completely in love with you. That’s partially why I was going to suggest we meet. You just beat me to it. What I feel for him is nowhere near you, and it’s not gonna get there. _

_ SpeaksForTrees: I get that. I have the same thing for C, so I guess we are in the same boat. _

_ MurphysLaw: Well, in that case, I look forward to seeing you tomorrow! _

_ SpeaksForTrees: I’ll see you tomorrow! _

Evan knows he’s smiling like an idiot, but he can’t help it.

He also can’t help that he doesn’t stop smiling until he falls asleep.

* * *

Evan is absolutely terrified getting ready the next day.

He knows how Murphy feels about him, but Murphy also has no idea how messed up he is in real life.

There’s also the back of his mind saying, ‘What about Connor?’ He’s attempting to ignore that voice. He had considered asking Connor to take him because he’s nervous and already hates driving, but this is something he needs to do alone.

At 10:55, he gets in the car. He focuses as much as he can on driving on the way there. He’s trying as hard as he can to not focus on what he’s actually going to do because then he’d get too nervous and turn around. He does not want to turn around and go home.

He shows up ten minutes early at their agreed-upon meeting point, a cafe he had chosen at random. He spends the next five minutes having a nice quick freak out in his car. Once he’s allowed himself said panic, he leaves his car. He thinks he sees a car he recognizes in the parking lot, but he figures it’s nothing.

He walks in the door and glances around the cafe. Oh gosh. They hadn’t figured out a way to spot one another. He is so dumb. Why didn’t he think of it? How is he going to spot him now? Why on earth did he think this was a good idea?

Why the fuck was Connor Murphy in a booth?

He doesn’t care. Connor is safe, and he can go sit with him while he figures out how he’s going to spot Murphy.

“Connor.”

Connor’s head jerks up to look at him, and he breaks into a grin.

“What are you doing here?” Evan asks.

Connor answers, “I’m meeting a friend of mine. What about you?”

“I’m doing the same thing,” Evan huffs a laugh, “It’s weird that we’re both meeting friends in this cafe an hour from our houses.”

Connor’s eyes widen, “That is super weird. I didn’t pick the meeting point, though. He did.”

“Huh.” Something clicks in his brain. He had known they shared a name, but Evan had figured Murphy was just a pseudonym, not a play on his last name. The love of books, the anger issues, the trouble with family, and the new friend the same day they became friends. All this time he’s been freaking out about having feelings for Murphy and Connor when they were the same person. He’s in love with Connor Murphy, and he fell in love with him twice. “Oh my gosh! It’s you.”

Connor looks confused as hell for a moment before recognition flashes in his eyes. “Trees?”

Evan nods with a smile, “Murphy?”

Connor stands up and wraps Evan in a hug. Evan’s face is laid across his shoulder, and Connor’s face is pressed into Evan’s hair.

“I can’t believe it’s you. I can’t believe I fell in love with you twice.” Connor says into his hair.

Evan can feel his eyes fill with tears. Hearing it said was way more meaningful. He pulls back to look at Connor and places a hand on his cheek. “I can’t believe I fell in love with you twice either.”

Evan chances a glance at his lips.

“Can I kiss you?” Connor asks.

“Yes please.”

Evan doesn’t think he could ever describe how great it feels to kiss Connor Murphy. 

He pulls back abruptly. “Wait, I’m H?”

Connor laughs and presses their foreheads together, “Yeah, Hansen, you are.”

The kiss after that is even better.

**Author's Note:**

> This is literally my favorite trope, and there is not enough of it in the world.
> 
> Tell me what you think.
> 
> Title from "Six Feet Under the Stars" by All Time Low


End file.
